![]() ![]() The design is standard, the materials are standard, the mechanicals are standard. Larry Benson: How can they be dangerous? Everything on them is standard. Irwin Wayfair: We can't have toys out on the market that may be dangerous. I don't think we're gonna have a problem with this. Gil Mars: We can make missiles that can hunt down one unlucky bastard 7,000 miles away and stick a nuclear warhead right up his ass. Surely, we can hunt down that technology. ![]() Irwin Wayfair: Uh, sir? Uh, you know, that kind of, uh, computing power doesn't really seem feasible right now, and- Larry Benson: Irwin, Irwin. Hey, how's this for a slogan? "The Commando Elite: Anything else is just a toy." Gil Mars: " Everything else is just a toy." Larry Benson: Th-That's good, too. ![]() We're gonna stick in a lifetime Globotech lithium cell. Gil Mars: Forget about this batteries-not-included crap. Irwin Wayfair: Well, that's an interesting idea. Toys, in short, gentlemen, that actually do what they do in the commercials. ![]() What if these toys could actually talk? What if they could walk? What if they could actually kick ass? I'm talking about toys that are so smart, when kids play with them, they play back. Rushmore and parking on top of Abraham Lincoln's head, okay? I'm sick of shampoo commercials that try to convince women that they can look like Claudia Schiffer after one cycle of rinse and repeat. Gil Mars: Y'know what I'm sick of? I'm sick of commercials that show us 4x4 trucks popping up to the top of Mt. Irwin Wayfair: Yeah, well, the real world sucks. You may not be familiar with our company, but this is pretty much the way things work down here in the real world. I mean, you know Heartland Toys has a long tradition of bringing joy to kids, ya know? Gil Mars isn't going to care about any of that. Dialogue Larry Benson: Pretty exciting, huh? Irwin Wayfair: I don't know. ![]()
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